The Waltz
by The Terrapin
Summary: Cagalli thinks that Athrun is an uptight blue-haired freak. Athrun thinks that Cagalli is what he always pictured a cavewoman/barbarian/savage to be. What happens when these two of these people, clearly not meant to coexist, get married?
1. Cagzilla!

**Author's Note: **

Resurrected from the dead! I'm still woefully out-of-touch.

Nevertheless, do enjoy. :D

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the GundamSEED characters, however much I wish I did. :D

**Chapter 1**

Athrun adjusted his tie, loosening it. Glancing over at his watch, he sighed.

_**Punctuality**_. First impressions were crucial, and this _lady_ was blowing it big time.

He signalled to the waiter for another triple expresso, pondering at the same time why his father would insist upon this meeting. He massaged his temple, sighing exasperatedly, before a voice interrupted his train of thought.

"Yo. Sorry I'm late." The blond lady violently dragged the chair to the side, made herself comfortable on the chair and grabbed the menu from Athrun's hands, flipping through it.

Athrun paused. This couldn't be who he was meeting. Her hair was a complete mess, with the tangles in her hair making her seem as though she'd never heard of a comb in her life, her dressing outlandish and her mannerisms practically non-existent.

"Excuse me. I have no idea how to put this politely… but who in the world are you?"

"Cagalli. You're the Zala-dude I'm supposed to meet, aren't you? Blue hair, green eyes. You were skinnier in the picture they gave me. You seem to have gotten…. rounder. " She remarked casually, gesturing to the waiter to take her order.

The waiter sauntered over, oblivious to Athrun's expression of absolute horror and shock.

"I want the chicken kebab, mac & cheese, a burrito….do you have tacos?" She read off, tapping her fingers impatiently on the menu.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, we do. Will that be all?" Cagalli nodded, and the waiter cast a sidelong glance to Athrun, who was still in the midst of recovering from his shock. He gave a snort before walking off.

Cagalli diverted her attention back to the stunned man sitting in front of her.

"So. Let's dothis thing. What's your name?" Her eyes remained fixated on the ant on the table that was crawling towards her. "Damn thing's been annoying me since I sat down." She muttered incoherently.

Narrowing her eyes and aiming for the ant, she flicked it away with her index finger with unbelievable accuracy, sending it flying across the table – landing right in Athrun's cup of coffee.

"….A..Athrun."

"I see. So we're supposedly 'made-for-each-other', according to my father." She snorted contemptuously, reaching over the table, grabbing Athrun's wine glass and taking a gulp of the red wine, using her sleeve to wipe her mouth thereafter.

Athrun couldn't find the words to verbalise his thoughts. The only word that kept popping out in his mind was "run". She was uncouth, unladylike and the farthest thing from his ideal companion.

She laughed at Athrun's horrified expression, snorting in the process.

"Seriously, this happens all the time. Happened with that purple-haired freak of nature that I had to meet for some obligatory marriage thing. It never works out anyway. I keep telling Dad that I don't want to get married right now, but **no**, he just won't take no for an answer." Her eyes brightened up upon seeing the waiter place her burrito in front of her, with a side of mashed potatoes.

She grinned toothily, grabbed her fork and started wolfing down the burrito that she held in one hand, while shoving potatoes in her mouth. She continued for another 5 minutes, leaving Athrun sitting there with his mouth agape.

"Oh _**shoot**_, I think I snorted the mashed potato up my nose." She cringed, trying to forcefully sneeze the potato out of her nose.

Athrun, being from a refined family with impeccable manners, stared at her, mouth agape, facial expression aghast.

"....What...? It happens." She carried on, ignoring Athrun.

He felt like throwing up on the sidewalk upon looking at Cagalli try to force it out her nose.

----------

"Never, Father! It is simply out of the question! It would be equivalent to being married to a caveman from prehistoric times! This is not happening, period. I shall be wedded to a lady of a fine background; a lady who is graceful and elegant and not one who snorts potatoes up her nose."

Lenore giggled upon hearing that.

"How could you subject me to such humiliation; dining with that....that unsightly …**savage** with no manners whatsoever?!" Athrun reasoned with his father.

"Now, Athrun. I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Cagalli's a very sweet girl." Lenore tried to pacify him.

"I respectfully decline. I will not get married to such a barbaric woman." Athrun declared indignantly.

-----------

The doorbell rang on a Sunday night. Patrick and Lenore were out at a charity function, and decided to give Athrun some time to simmer down before re-visiting the subject of his marriage with Cagalli.

Athrun headed downstairs and opened the door, only to find the tear-stained face of Cagalli looking in his direction, casting him a withering stare that sent shivers down his spine.

"What are yo---"

"Marry me."

"...What in the wor---"

"I said **marry me**."

"You...you coarse and unrefined barbarian, yo--"

Athrun paused upon seeing her tears stream down her cheeks.

"Stop staring at me, you …you ridiculous **blue-haired baboon**..." She managed between sobs.

He paused for a moment and let out a sigh.

"Would you like to come in?" He gestured to the foyer, another hand massaging his temple.

Composing herself, she said, "…Just tell me your answer."

"I don't have an answer for you, Cagalli."

"You have an answer, and you know it. Tell me." She pressed on.

He sighed.

"In all honesty, I don't think we'd be a compatible match." He peered at her expression. "Besides, you don't seem to like me either."

"That's not important. What about me don't you like?" She snapped.

"I wouldn't know where to begin…"

"Fine. Tell me, and I'll change my habits. Now will you marry me?"

" Didn't you say that you didn't want to get married?"

"Do I look like I want to get married? That's not important now. Just say yes."

" How could it be none of my business when I'm the one you want to get married to?"

" My father is dying, and he wants me to get married to you, _**alright**_?!" She yelled, a single tear falling from her eye.

His eyes widened as her breathing became increasingly erratic. He kept silent, not knowing what to say. She stared at him, knowing full well that no civilized human being as prim and proper as Zala would ever agree to her proposal. She had nothing that would possibly attract someone like him, and he seemed as though he would only date women with bodies rivaling that of Gisele Bundchen.

"Fine."

She glanced up at him with a blank expression, not able to find the words.

"I said fine. Please go home and rest. We will have to prepare for our wedding starting tomorrow." He stated plainly, before closing the door on a stunned Cagalli.

He sighed, leaning his weight on the door, burying his head in his hands.

_Someone should nominate me for the Nobel Peace Prize. I'm such a saint._

_--------_

" NO . BLOODY . WAY." She stubbornly folded her arms and scoffed, casting a disapproving look to the renowned designer holding up 2 wedding gowns.

The designer, Martinez, pleaded with Cagalli to try on both gowns.

" Please, Miss Attha. Mr Zala will be here soon to try on his suit, and I believe he would like to see how you would look in these gowns."

"Like hell I'll wear them for him!"

"But…but you're getting married to him in 2 weeks. You can't be wearing jeans and flip-flops down the aisle!" Martinez exclaimed.

Just as Cagalli was about to retort, Athrun strolled into the bridal shop in a business suit, looking incredibly dashing and drop-dead gorgeous. Cagalli snapped back into reality as Athrun walked towards her, chuckling to himself as Martinez collapsed on the ground in utter defeat.

"Sorry I'm late. The business meeting was never-ending." He shifted his gaze to Martinez, lying motionless on couch with his eyes closed. "Our princess giving you problems, Martinez?" Athrun smiled.

"Zala, come on. Look at these hideous dresses! Can't I wear a suit?" Cagalli interjected.

"I'm afraid not, my dear. Please try on both dresses."

"Let's play a game then, my _**dear." **_Athrun met her venomous, spine-chilling gaze and shuddered. "If I win this, you'll have to agree to what I want."

"Which is?"

"Regarding the dresses."

_This should be no problem for me._

"Fine. What's the game?"

"It's simple. **Arm-wrestling**."

He chuckled to himself. " Arm-wrestling? Are you serious?"

"Dead serious, my _**darling. Dead **_serious. " She sniggered.

--------------

Athrun folded up his sleeves and positioned his arm on the table.

"BRING IT ON!" Cagalli yelled abruptly, startling Athrun.

She positioned herself, rolling her eyes at Athrun's smug look plastered all over his face.

"Chauvinist pig." She muttered, grabbing his hand roughly and motioning for Martinez to be the judge.

"We'll see about that soon enough, my princess." Athrun laughed, squeezing her hand gently.

Martinez's eyes widened in amusement. He had never seen a couple such as this – using arm-wrestling to get what they wanted. He grinned to himself. "Ready…get set…go!"

Cagalli hastily attempted to forcibly push Athrun's hand down, but realized that he was much stronger than she had previously thought.

"My my. Exactly like I thought. You really do have the strength equivalent to that of Godzilla. _**Cagzilla**_." He lowered his voice, mockingly imitating the grunting noises that of Godzilla, chuckling to himself.

Cagalli smirked to herself.

_You underestimate me, Zala. If you're that naïve to believe that I'd choose a game I was weak in, you deserve to lose! _

She applied more force, and Athrun was startled by the sudden increase in force. His arm was pushed down just a few millimeters away from the table, and he struggled to regain his position. Cagalli had the upper-hand now, and he was close to losing.

_Desperate times call for desperate measures._

Just as she was about to claim victory and end the match, she took a last glance at Athrun, expecting to see a pathetic look of defeat upon his face. Instead, Athrun smiled at her and leaned across the table, while still holding her hand.

He whispered, "It wouldn't be nice if a woman is stronger than her husband, don't you think?" Chuckling to himself upon hearing Cagalli mutter several expletives and about sending him to hell after they were done, he pulled his face away from her for a moment, meeting Cagalli's expression of fury.

Then he planted a kiss on her forehead.

**Author's Note:**

Till next time! J


	2. The Art of Being Dearka

**Author's Note: **Thanks for the interesting reviews in Chapter 1. :D

Here is Chapter 2.

Disclaimer: I do not own GS/GSD.

**Chapter 2**

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Athrun held the ice-pack to his bruised eye after getting brutally throttled by Cagalli for kissing her on her forehead.

"Hey, at least you won the fight." Dearka chimed in, amused by the situation at hand. "Would've been embarrassing if you didn't." He chuckled good-naturedly. "Anyway, Attha seems like an interesting person. Unconventional."

" Female _**Godzilla**_." Athrun sighed.

" Come on, she can't be that horrible if you decided to marry her." Dearka grinned.

Athrun cocked an eyebrow and cast him a stare which lasted for ten seconds.

" Okay, fine. She's nothing like a woman. But you must, somewhere in that back of your mind, probably think that it's possible that you'll grow to love her." Dearka laughed.

" Why on earth am I doing this…?" Athrun gave a sigh of resignation, turning to Dearka for an answer.

Dearka cast Athrun a dirty-old-man-leering-at-little-girls look, sniggering to himself. " You _**know **_why, nyeheheheh, you perverted old man."

The next thing he saw was a shoe flying in his direction.

-------

Cagalli stumbled down the staircase almost drunkenly, her eyes still shut and her hoodie over her head, muttering profanities as she headed towards the dining room. Seven . In . The . Morning. The alarm rang at that unholy hour - the alarm that mysteriously had appeared in her room without her knowledge.

She wandered into the dining room, still with her eyes closed, crashing into a lamp and the leg of a chair.

" Son of a b---" Cagalli was about to begin her profanity-laced outburst, before she was interrupted by a deep voice from behind her.

She spun around, only to see Athrun in jeans and a shirt reading " Kiss Me, Cause I'm So Sizzlin' Hot" that showed off his muscled build.

" Good morning, princess. Hope you slept well last night." He smiled warmly at the short and scary chick standing in front of him, diminutive in size but exuding an aura so evil it rivalled that of any Machiavellian villain he'd ever read about.

" Like hell I did." She rolled her eyes.

" Well then, the loud snoring I'd heard in the next room that kept me awake the whole night couldn't have been yours then, could it?" He grinned mischievously.

" You got a death wish, Zala?" She cast him a withering stare.

" Not at all, Queen Kong. Just a wish to have breakfast with you." He took her hand and led her to the table, while Cagalli seemed as though she was a petulant two-year-old being dragged to the dentist.

Cagalli grudgingly sat at the dining table, while an annoyingly chirpy Athrun sat on the other end of the table.

The waiter placed her plate in front of her. "Enjoy.", he said, with a slightly suspicious look upon his face.

She muttered a word of thanks and looked down at the plate. Then she looked up at Athrun and brandished the butter knife in her hand threateningly at the oblivious man across the table.

" _**Yo**_, _Casanova_." She said spitefully. "What's this?" She gestured to her plate.

" I figured since our last meeting that you love meat. Or food in general, for that matter. So I _specially _instructed our cook to prepare this for you this morning." He gave a sly smile.

Cagalli inhaled deeply.

" Look, Zala," She tapped her fingers impatiently on the table and sent waves of vibrations that Athrun swore he could feel on the other end. " I'm not a morning-person, but I woke up and sat down to this ridiculous breakfast. I want to BREAK. my. FAST."

" You're welcome, my darling. I knew you'd _**love **_what I'd done for you." Athrun said to her sarcastically.

_I'll get you for this, Zala._

Cagalli glared at Athrun, picked up her fork, stabbed the steak so violently with her fork that the dining ware broke into two and began tearing through it with her teeth, keeping her eyes fixated on Athrun - as though she was tearing him from limb to limb.

She chewed with her mouth wide open, burped at the table loudly and drank 3 cans of carbonated drinks such that she could burp in Athrun's face - just to annoy the hell out of him.

" Sir, it must be nice having a woman who's not ashamed of her cavewoman-like habits…." The butler whispered to Athrun as Cagalli began picking her teeth with her fork and flinging the piece of food trapped between her teeth in Athrun's direction.

" I've never felt more fulfilled in my entire life, Sam." Athrun gave a horrified expression of disgust and nausea upon seeing Cagalli yawn with her mouth still half-full with mashed potatoes, with some of the sauce dripping out from the side of her mouth.

-----

" The one and only Cagzilla strikes again." Athrun sighed, adjusting his tie in the mirror.

He had heard crashing and banging in the neighbouring room when Martinez had come over to take her measurements for the wedding gown, and heard Cagalli screaming bloody murder and something about chopping Martinez's family jewels off, if he had any.

He heard Martinez wail dramatically from across the hall about regretting his conception because it had led to this day.

He lay on his back on his bed, with his eyes closed, his fingers fiddling with the wedding rings that Martinez had given him to propose to Cagalli with.

He had always wanted to get married - just that he hadn't expected to get married to a woman…**monster** like Cagalli. He sighed.

Tomorrow.

------

Athrun was drifting in and out of consciousness, when his door creaked open and a figure tiptoed stealthily into the room. Athrun sensed something amiss, and wondered if it was a break-in. He kept his eyes shut and strained his ears to listen and determine the position of the robber.

The figure crashed into the cupboard, and yelped in pain. Regaining composure, the hooded person crept to Athrun's bedside and met his face, shining a flashlight at his face, when Athrun abruptly opened his eyes and grabbed the hands of the figure.

The figure screamed. Athrun screamed.

The lights flickered on, and Athrun took a closer look at the hooded figure.

" …Cagalli?!"

" WHO OPENS THEIR EYES LIKE THAT WHEN THEY'RE SLEEPING?!" She cried out, still shaken by the shock of Athrun's startling movements.

" What on earth are you creeping into my room at this hour for?" Athrun questioned.

Awkward silence.

Athrun cocked an eyebrow.

" NO NO, IT'S NOT THAT!" Cagalli waved her arms in protest, wanting to defend herself.

" I'm in grave danger even in my own house…" Athrun mocked.

Cagalli smacked him on the head roughly, and explained herself. "I'm…I'm scared."

" What does the mighty female reincarnation of Godzilla have to fear?" Athrun sighed.

" Just let me sleep here!"

" No. Go back to your own room."

" PLEASE! I promise not to put thumbtacks on your chair anymore."

" Cagalli, go back to your room."

" Just let me sleep here for tonight! Please?"

_I give up._

-----

Cagalli lay on her side, facing Athrun, with a bolster in between them.

"Cross this bolster in any way or with any part of your body and you're **dead**, Zala."

" I would like to remind you gently that this is MY bed that you're in, and it's MY sleep that is sacrificed because of YOUR fear. Remove the bolster - there's hardly any space on the bed as it is."

" What's yours is mine, _**honey.**_ Why aren't you wearing a shirt?!"

" I sleep in my boxers." He yawned.

" As I had suspected. You're a shameless Casanova." She positioned the bolster again, narrowing her eyes into slits.

" What are you scared of?"

" **You**." She stated plainly without hesitation, pointing an accusing finger at him.

" I'm not going to do anything."

" Men always say that and it's never true."

" Have you looked in the mirror lately, Cagzilla?"

" Yes, and I absolutely _**adore **_what I see. The bolster stays."

Athrun grabbed the bolster roughly out of Cagalli's arms and threw it onto the ground, pulling Cagalli closer to him, wrapping his arm around her waist. Cagalli backed away, but was no match for Athrun's strength.

" Za-Zala, you're a hor-"

" Goodnight, my delusional wife. Now, please get some sleep before I resort to shoving my sock into your mouth to keep you quiet."

Athrun fell asleep in a few minutes. Cagalli, on the other hand, tried to keep her eyes open, staring at Athrun, to ensure that his hands didn't stray anywhere that they weren't supposed to stray. He was deep in slumber, his breathing was soft and Cagalli could feel his heartbeat with her ear pressed against his chest as he enveloped her in his warm embrace, his hands resting on her back. His body warmth gave her an odd sense of comfort and security that she hadn't felt in a while.

She looked at his face.

_Geez, he's even prettier than me. _

-----------------

Athrun opened his eyes to see Cagalli snoring loudly, drooling with her mouth wide open. She had an oddly blissful look on her face, Athrun observed.

He laughed.

_Kodak moment._

He got out of bed, went to the drawer and got out the Polaroid camera.

" Perfect blackmail material." He grinned, taking an unglamorous photo of Cagalli. He burst out in uncontrollable laughter when he had seen the drool _dribbling _down her cheek.

He peered intently at the photograph. Cagalli had something in her hand.

He looked at Cagalli lying on his bed. Something in her hand. A photograph.

He walked over apprehensively and slid the picture out of her hand, turning the photograph to look at what it was.

A horrified expression was plastered all over his face when he saw the photograph, and he rushed to the dresser and looked in the mirror.

He had smudged lipstick on his lips, way too much blusher on his cheeks and poorly-drawn black eyeliner on his eyes, with the words " **Cagzilla Was Here!" **with a huge **'X' **marking the spot on his right cheek. On the left cheek, this was written in lipstick: **"Animals Mark Their Territory By Peeing On Them, But I Used This 'Cause You Were **_**Just **_**Too Pretty To Pee On."**

His mouth was agape, face aghast. No wonder Cagalli looked so **_sickeningly _**gleeful even in her sleep.

He turned in the direction of Cagalli, eyes narrowing into slits, determined to make Cagalli suffer a far worse fate than he did.

-----------------

Athrun stood at the dressing room, looking at Cagalli wrestle with her veil and eventually rip it off out of frustration, much to his amusement.

" You ready?" He asked solicitously, to Cagalli's surprise.

" ….Yeah."

" Thinking of chickening out, Cagzilla?" He laughed.

" Hell no. ….this is a marriage built on everything **but **the truth." She glared at him.

" I don't think it is."

" It is." She stated bluntly.

" A marriage based on lies won't work. It's like a house of straw built on a foundation of sand. Same goes for a marriage based solely on pity, Athrun." She said, walking past him out of the room, giving him a sock in the ribs and making Athrun wince in pain.

----------

" Kiss the bride! French-kissing!" The emcee, who was none other than Dearka, yelled into the microphone.

Athrun faced Cagalli.

His stomach was churning and he felt queasy. He froze for a few minutes until the crowd started to chant: " Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her!"

" I said **_kiss me. _**Everyone's looking!" Cagalli's eyes widened, and she gritted her teeth and had a threatening-looking smile on her face, whispering to Athrun.

"_ **You **_do it if you think that it's that easy!" He plastered a fake expression of genuine happiness on his face.

" It _**is **_easy! Just a _peck_!" Cagalli covered her face with her hands, pretending to be shy in front of everyone.

" Do you think we're chickens?! It's not easy! Not when you're facing Godzilla!"

" Would you just shut up and _**kiss me now?!"**_

" Why should I do th---" He was cut off when Cagalli pressed her lips against his.

Her lips were unexpectedly soft, Athrun thought to himself. The crowd was cheering, but all he could hear was his heart pounding in his ears and the cheering blocked out by sounds of the fast beating of his heart.

_She's making me look like a complete ball-less wimp by not initiating the kiss._

Athrun used his hand to pull her in for a deeper kiss. Against his lips, Cagalli murmured.

"...What do you think you're doing....?" Her voice was muffled Athrun's passionate kissing as the crowd cheered enthusiastically.

"....the man has to make the first move....." He murmured, nibbling on her lower lips with the intention of annoying her.

"...you're not a man...you're a chauvinist pig." She whispered and bit hard on his lower lip. He jerked away from her, and Cagalli pinched him hard on his arm before walking offstage, smiling at the crowd and pretending to be shy, attempting to convince herself that Athrun wasn't the fantastic kisser that he had just proven himself to be.

----

"Drink this." Dearka led Athrun to a corner, handing him a bottle with a suspicious-looking label.

" What's that?"

" You'll _**definitely **_sleep well tonight…."

Athrun opened the bottle, and finished the contents of the bottle in 2 gulps.

"….after what it makes you do to Cagalli. HAHAHAHA."

Athrun froze.

"Happy consummating, my _**darlings**_~!" Dearka sang gleefully, pushing a horrified Athrun into the hotel room with a slightly drunk post-wedding-party Cagalli, chaining the door with a bicycle chain he had bought before the party, throwing the key into the dustbin as he made his way to the elevator, whistling to himself the tune of Craig David's "Take 'Em Off" as he left the hotel.

" So..…" Athrun twiddled his thumbs. "What do we do?"

They sat on the opposite ends of the bed with red rose petals on it, (courtesy of Mr Dearka Elsman) faces beet-red.

"...I don't know. This is new for me."

" I guess we could try to decrease the distance between each other, as a start."

" Good point."

He moved closer to her, his hands reaching for her waist, when she smacked his hands away.

" What are you doing?!"

" Doing…what am I doing?"

" You were going to touch me!"

" What else am I supposed to do?"

" Keep your hands to yourself!"

They both sat in complete silence for 5 minutes.

" I'll turn on some music." Athrun said, walking over to the stereo. The CD compartments were all empty, with the exception of one CD that stood alone at the corner of the compartment. There, on the disc, was a message:

_I managed to __**Make **__a new home-made compilation CD_

_As my present to the newly-wedded happy couple! :D_

_Much __**Love**__, Dearka._

_PS: __**To **__choose the best tracks to listen to, ask __**Cagalli **__what she's in the mood for__**!!!!!**_

He rolled his eyes, crushed the note, and turned to look at the tracks on the CD on the back of the cover.

The list of tracks went something like this:

_For Athrun & Cagalli_

_1. Making Love_

_2. Making Love_

_3. Making Love_

_4. Making Love_

_5. Making Love_

" How does he find the time to do stupid things like this….?" Athrun sighed.

He turned to Cagalli, who sat on the bed looking unusually quiet.

_Damn that Dearka for the drink._

He walked towards her, grabbed her by the arms and leaned in to kiss her, before he spotted a rice grain on her lip. He masked the disgust in his heart and leaned in, closing his eyes.

Wait. Why didn't he feel anything on his lips?

He opened his eyes.

She was squirming away and her eyes were wide open in horror at him.

--------

**Author's Note: **Gosh. That was an exceptionally long chapter.

Ah well. Till next time!

Read and review please!


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